Do you ever wonder what the world would be like if everyone just had to like... tell the truth all the time?
not necessarily be mean
but like... even be rejecting in a nice way?
people would probably still treat you like shit, but they woudlnt be fake
they would tell their true feelings
so in the long run, everyone would get hurt less
have you ever been compleatly honest with everyone for an entire day?
I doubt it
Because i bet you haven't been honest with yourself for an entire day
i know i havent
what i see people do, and hear what they say, its fucking bull shit
people shoot each other down and treat each other like crap, and for what?
why does that make us feel better?
because of how insecure we are?
because other people have shot us down and make us felt like crap?
people just suck
and i mean that
i suck
ive done terrible fucking things
ive hurt people
lied to them
treated people like shit
and i dont even have a good reason for it
its not like someone killed my cat or hurt my mom
because then you better fucking be prepared to die
but no no.... i just did it
why tho?
what about the human psyche makes me act this way?
and other people?
its interesting to think that most of us feel alone, when really we arent, we have friends around us
its just not enough
why shouldnt it be though?
do we expect that much out of life that not seeing friends every day, or even every week or month would kill us?
No friend gives you 100 percent of what you need in a friend
how could they?
everyone is so different from each other, even if we have similar interests
between nature and nurture we are formed into all compleatly unique human beings
just like finger prints
our finger prints may be similar
but not one finger print is identical
just like not one human being is identical
i guess you could say im feeling lost
it could be due to the almost black out earlier
or the fact that ive been up for over 24 hours
but it makes me think
ive had more time to think the last 24 hours than most people have because i havent slept
sure, im a little crazy, but im that way regardless
i dont understand why people waste the energy anymore to hurt people
just dont talk to them
when you hurt someone its hurting their family, their friends, their pets...
everyone around them gets hurt by what you did
and if you kill someone?
pretend thats your mother, or your father or your brother or your sister or your best friend, because to someone the person you killed was that
how would you feel if that happened?
an eye for an eye will make the whole world blind
my god no sleep and caffine is not a good idea
i feel these may be the ramblings of a mad woman, but at the same time, i think im making total fucking sense...
i guess we will see tomorrow after ive slept how nuts this all sounds
im almost worried that it wont sound nuts at all
that maybe im actually super fucking smart and deep when im super depressed
like how people get truthful when they are drunk
and hungry when they are high ahahahah
its odd, my brain is like super fucking speed right now, but my body is just like...
m     u     s     t     t     y     p   e     w     o    r     d    s
come on, that hurt you to even read that
it hurt me to write it it was too slow
I'm pretty sure ive lost my mind
thats cool
wasn't doing much for me anyway
now only if i can lose my heart, its so broken anyway id like to get a new one, start fresh
i wish i was in a videogame
and there was a reset button
except when i reset it, i found a list of cheats to myself on how to win the levels
like "dont go out that night"
or "hes only using you"
or even "wtf are you doing being friends with her for so fucking long?"
or... "how could you treat her that way after she was there for you?"
or... "dont let mom open those bags of m &ms bc she will guilt you into hand massages forever"
this all seems to flow and make sense in my head
i really dont think it does out loud
im not even gonna read this
im just gonna post it
no one ever fucking comments on notes anyway
why?
because no one ever actually looks at peoples profiles that they are friends with
and actually checks in with them
bc most people you are friends with on fbook arent even really your friends
i know, shocker huh?
unless you only have like 20 friends on fbook like me, then those people are probably your friends that just dont give a shit about you
or maybe they dont give a shit about fbook
or maybe they actually have lives
its all a kinda complicated thing...
bdkgdkfjgkdjfh eyes trying to close but brain SOOOO AWAKEEEE
i wonder if someones going to read this and diagnose me with like fucking clinical depression or some shit
when in reality im just an angsty young adult being angsty and angsty people for people being fucking dbags...
which isnt that hard to understand
people = dbags which in turn upsets me...
that flows quite well to me
ahhhh banannas >
believe it or not, im not under the influence of anything but caffine
i dont think i should be allowed to drink this crap...
blehhhhh.... i think im done with this for now
this is gonna be fun as hell to read tomorrow
i bet i laugh my ass off
kinda sad when you only have yourself to make yourself laugh....
well..... good night self, get some sleep bc you have been a crazy crazy bitch today...